Football for stress!


Everyone is crowded around this one bunk staring at a tiny TV as the Dallas Cowboys give the New York Giants a run for their money.  Yes, today is the start of football season and every inmate here is going crazy. It seems football is a major stress reducer inside for us all. Even if your team is losing we still love it!!

Seriously though at times here in the dorms there are moments when the sound of yells and clapping and roars almost burst your eardrums.  The great news is I am soon to leave after 5.5 years of zero privacy and a whole lot more.  I cannot wait to hear the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the seagulls cawing overhead speaking to my heart.  And the sound of my loved ones voices in my ear, this will be a gift I will not forget.

The greatest thing I am taking with me from inside here is the knowledge I have acquired that has helped open my self-awareness.  For this gift it will be my duty to show compassion, love and joy for/to all life.  And to help care for those whose path I cross that are in need.  To be an example of God’s love and walk in the light, these are my top goals now.  And they are very different goals from before, thank God…


People in times of need


So I was just thinking how the response to hurricane Harvey turned out for the folks in the Houston area.  It seems that American can and does come together in times of horrific turmoil.  It makes me feel good inside and proud to be an American.  To not only the amazing first responders but the average guy that was out there with boats, etc. helping flood victims please know there are many who are very grateful for your existence. OUTSTANDING!!

Here in my people congested prison world witnessing the revolving door is incredible. As soon as one leaves a bed, the very next day it is occupied.  I am truly convinced that this is a big, big business. Sadly too big a business. Has crime always been so prevalent in the world I wonder? Oh well, around and around we go. 🙂

On another note, I feel that I have at last let go on being so hard on myself…and it is beginning to feel great.  I am letting the past mistakes go so I can start a fresh life. In a few weeks time I will blog from the outside so stick around for more…LOL!!


A New Day Dawning…

Hello beautiful world!! Hot and humid here in Chino, CA but with good news from the Board of Parole.  My recommendation for early release has been approved  🙂

This will be two years early for good behavior, merits earned for participating in self-help groups and also earning my college degree (I am very proud of myself).

The spiritual growth I gained in these 6 years has shown me how I need and yes, WANT to live at last.  I am so grateful to the State of California for this opportunity to those who incarcerated which gives them the chance to learn, to grow and to help themselves.

There is a time to walk the walk not talk the talk and that time for me is NOW!!



A few words from Mom


Oh, my how time flies by.  When I looked at the date of Brandon’s last blog I knew it had been a while but had no idea it was 4 months ago!!  It has been almost four years since Brandon (and I) started this blog and until recently he has been diligent with his efforts in blogging. Considering his situation that is a pretty good run!  I wanted to post an update for any of those out there who still may be reading as the update is filled with positive, exciting news on Brandon.

First, he has at last completed his classes and has earned his AA degree from Coastline Community College!  This opportunity that is available to inmates in California prisons is amazing.  Brandon also earned a certificate in Business Education as well.  So proud of him. It was a totally self taught experience and this achievement for him is extraordinary. To say I am proud is an understatement 🙂

He also just received news from CDCR that he is eligible for the early release program and it is possible he will be out in a few months.  We are beginning to make arrangements for that now…at last.  I want to keep his blog up and going as he has never actually “seen” his blog online.  I would print out comments, etc and mail to him but for him to actually be able to view the whole blog site will be so cool.

With all this good news going on he has been lack in his blogging but what the heck, his efforts elsewhere have more than paid off!  His spiritual growth since his incarceration and his growth in general will see him through anything on the outside I believe.  His future looks incredible but as he says he will take it slowly, slowly.

Life is amazing, my son and I have been so blessed to be able to work our way through what could have been a long, horrible time.  We both have learned how to forgive, to love and to be grateful everyday. It has been a journey of enlightenment, may you be as blessed as we are and thanks for reading.

As Shakespeare said, “There are more things in heaven and Earth, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”  

Brandon will be back here blogging I am sure! So look for him soon!




Me again…

Hello world!! Greetings and peace to all.

The most recent experience here in prison for me is the Light inside my head is getting brighter. Being more aware of myself and others is not a perfect change yet but getting much better.  “To just be”, to remain unaffected is a whole new way to be. A better way to be for me. It is freedom in a way I can’t describe, only experience. And so wonderful…

School studies go on. I keep learning and I know that I will never stop learning no matter what. A force that keeps me happy and in good working order.  🙂

And the beat goes on.





School and more

Early this morning I slipped from an awake consciousness to a deeper state.  My thoughts were not foggy but very clear and very fluid like with no sense of agitation anywhere.  I am aware that the silence around me at 3:00 a.m. help as all is calm inside and out, so much peace.

I cannot get over the fact of how much I truly missed school in the 3 semesters I have taken off.  My spiritual self needed this time however my empirical self needs to learn new data and information, I love it!

The winter elements here in California are so wonderful. Feeling the cold temperature as the wind blows across my face and the reminder that nature is asleep and waiting for the birth of spring again.

I tell myself over and over what a wonderful thing it is to see God everywhere. To let go of that would be too horrible, like dwelling in chaos forever, ugh.

So with that in mind, I will forever “look” at the world with these eyes as they are now.

Back to the books now, ain’t life great!?!




Doing My Time…

I cannot believe that I have been here in the same prison for 4 years. So that means when children were 14 years old when I came in they are now 18 year old adults! Just a little something to ponder, LOL.  For myself this time was needed badly.

Something important that I have come to understand is that no matter where you are or who you are around you never stop learning about yourself.  Every thought and every emotion we have is brought about because of ourselves.  One of our sole responsibilities is to acknowledge this power we have inside of ourselves and to learn to utilize this power to make changes for the better and to use it to guide us down our paths.  There are no more excuses to keep on loathing  ourselves for past mistakes or to feel self-pity, guilt or shame. That way of thinking becomes like some addictive negative habit.  No more!!  this self made chain of thought can only be broken by realizing the potential in ourselves.  This potential, this power, is the very source that comes from the Universe, from God.

It would be my wish that you perceive this reality now.  All in all it has been a wonderful few years inside……



I’m Back!!





GREETINGS ALL!!  So another wonderful blessed year has come and gone.  All I can do is be thankful for all the experiences, good and bad, that have touched me.  The good are great because we can store them in our memories and recall them when we need to relive those warm and wonderful moments, we don’t want to forget about those times in our life!  The reason I am thankful also for the “bad” are because they help us too.  We have this ability to grow and learn responsibly.  Rest assure I know that at the time they can hurt and become a factor in our choices.  It’s a part of our conditioning.

Now the greatest experience for me is the fact that everyday now I feel closer and closer to the Light of Bliss that is the Supreme (God).  This experience with the one conscious being of Bliss is so calm, peaceful, and so full of love that it makes a web of harmony.  I am grateful to be able to transcend myself.  Some would relate to this as being touched by the Holy Spirit or the Holy Ghost, same meaning just different words.  The perception of something greater than ourselves.

Anyways out there in the blog world, may all of you be @ peace and may all of you take a second or two to ponder the gifts we have been given.  This experience is phenomenal and be thankful and remember God….



Just random stuff….

open eyeAhh, the night is here and all activity is coming to a slow pace.  The mind is using memory recall to produce hormones that race through our bodies.  This something called Supra Chisiamastic Nucleus is responsible for our naturally occurring circadian rhythms…in other words we’re getting sleepy because of melatonin being released.

Don’t you just love how so many things are occurring daily in our lives and we don’t even know of a quarter of what happens automatically. What a freaking gift life is, really!! We need to ask not what God can do for us but what can we do for God! We seem to put so much gravity on our daily experiences we forget what is happening in the universe.  We are important, our experiences are not that important, except from the point of view to learn from them.  Our suffering is our growth, this is where the light comes in to illuminate the real eternal bliss forever in the ocean of consciousness.

With that thought out of my system (LOL), everything here in prison is cool.  For real it is!  Remain true to yourself and others will respect that.  They become aware that their powers of manipulation cannot cross the boundaries you have set around yourself.

I am so grateful for this life and every experience I have had and that I am going to have…



Not another day


Another day, a wonderful day, a boring day, a productive day, an unproductive day but no matter what kind of day, the best part is I get to experience this day.  Now what else could any one want in this life?  Of course most of us answer this questions with something we do not have but want.  We all want what we don’t have.  We forget everything that we want and need is already there in our heart. Sometimes we forget and let our minds fool us into believing different.  Why do our minds do such a thing?  Is it just because the nature of the brain must keep functioning because to stop would mean the end of itself?!  Who knows…it does takes practice, a lot of practice, a lot of patience,  but you can slow your mind down and focus on pure awareness.  You can awaken a part of yourself that is full of bright light, an ancient part of your perfect being.  It does take time to realize your true nature but the journey is so worth it!