Cross of light
As I sit on my top bunk with my much needed fan to my left and a picture of Jesus facing me to my right (also much needed!) I thank God for everything. Starting a day with thoughts of despair and not being thankful will create inside of me a day of being unproductive.  That folk’s is not the core desire of a person made from a divine source of benevolence. It is part of it however, because without despair or being unproductive, how do you know happiness or productivity?


So anyways, I have a new bunk mate and he is almost 80 years old. Where do they find these guys?! The man barely walks or speaks and when he does you need an international galactic translator because no one here can figure out what he is trying to say! To be nice I let him watch my TV during the day and I get it back at night. Yes, all is well here in prison. I guess the only good thing you can do in here is something nice for someone else, and doing something good makes you feel good and blocks those thoughts of not feeling good…WOW! LOL!


I was talking to one of the correctional officers the other day as he sat on his computer.  I asked him if he would look me up on his data base.  He could not believe all the names I had used in the past in my outlaw days and really I couldn’t either. We laughed as I said, “It’s a wonder I know who I really am!”  Today with the right daily choices driving my forward I am who God made, at last.

Gotta laugh!

laughingWell hello and greetings from behind the fence.  I still cannot get over how we inmates all do this together every day, day after day.  It truly amazes me.  I do know for some of us that our coping skills are at their peak and maybe that explains the mad hysteria we experience at times over the littlest things.  Example, the other day I was on the telephone and there was another inmate on another phone nearby.  All I could hear was him asking, “Hello? Betty are you there? Hello? Hello?”  Then as I am calling on my phone I find myself asking,” Hello? Mom? Hello, are you there?”  What the heck is going on!?! As we both look at each other with joking faces we crack up! So you can see it is these little things that can make an inmates life O.K. on the inside.  To quote an old Bible verse Ecclesiastes 3:41, “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”  So truly laughter is healing and it is the small things that can really mean so much here in prison…and out there also.  Prison has taught me to appreciate the things I do have and not to obsess with thoughts of things I do not have.  This gift of life, no matter where you are or how limited you are, is an experience like no other.  We should all be very grateful and show our gratitude daily.  I try to…

Letter to Mom…

Mom's HeartDamn, I love my son!


Dear Mom,

It seems that my experiences just keep rolling along and I also seem to adapt in a much healthier way now.  I do choose my friends wisely in here and I do keep them at a minimum.  So many different people with different cultures, race, age, education and class.  But I do keep one thing inside my heart and that is empathy.  Empathy is a secret emotion and cognitive ability to direct outwardly and inwardly at the same time.  This aspect of our awareness can be used as a Light to help us see in the dark and to open our minds to enlightenment.  Suffering as well can enlighten if we let it.

How can we understand enlightenment if we do not understand suffering?

I love you dearly,


OCD awareness

learningIt never ceases to amaze me how many times you can pose the same questions to your mind over and over while being incarcerated and think that you are going to get some different answer that makes you go “wow”!  I guess that is what they call obsessive thinking.  Now let’s assume we want to find out what the compulsiveness is about…LOL.  I remember from one of many books I have read that about 3 out of every 4 people in America have some form of mild to severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I’m wondering, here in prison it is easier to understand why one has OCD, all the same damn people you see 24 hours a day – every day.  So what could possibly be the major cause out there? I do not know.


Anyway I digress here, the question for me that I keeps running through my mind over and over and over is, how could I have done the things I have done in the past and think that is was “normal”?  I have examined this question so many times I’m starting to identify with the answers by counting the white hairs on my head :-)  It’s all the same but I need to remember it is the choices I make in the NOW that count…the past choices are helpful only in the reflections of the consequences.  This can have meaning for me now and in the future.


Quote of the Day:  “Today is a good day to look into the mirror and say, ‘You are a smart, good and healthy person that gives a lot to this world!’”


My statement today…

open eyeI am at peace with my thoughts, I am at peace with my words, I am at peace with my actions, I am at peace with my character but most of all I am at peace with GOD.  Everyday in this environment I am reminded that my Faith is the backbone I need to standup and face this place with goodness and healthiness.
I will never give up because God has never ever nor will never ever give up on me…I am grateful for His Grace…


Quote of the Day:  “A gift is something you should cherish because no matter how small or big you have more than you had before.”


Not always a bed of roses

bird on wire2Things continue to be whatever they are inside.  As a temporary guest on this journey in prison I do have to remind myself that when things happen that seem bad or wrong (and they do happen, oh yes, they do) they are not in my control but in the Power that created everything.  I will continue to be as vigilant as I can and remain faithful to my new choices in life.
Quote of the day: “Anger is the wind that blows the light out in my mind.”


Good thoughts!

laughingSometimes I do not think that I’m really in a prison here.  This morning I stepped out to walk in our mini-yard and noticed that there were so many vegetables growing here, like: tomatoes, cilantro, red chilies and even squash. Oh! Let’s not forget the cactus that everyone likes to scrape then chop up, cook and eat.  God has truly got all of our backs that are in a place as this.  Thank you Father. Even the Correctional Officers here are respectful.  Really, it is the people and the choices they make here that makes it bearable.


Quote of the Day:  “We are the creators of our present and future.”


4683609Well just another day and I have to find something productive and healthy to do while waiting for my college summer semester to begin.  Yes, the heat is back and in force so there will be attitudes flaring too.  One thing is amazing because over half of these inmates that I share a dorm with which consist of 150 bodies have all come down with a bad flu.  As I became aware of this I was so careful about everything I touched and somehow I have avoided getting sick…probably will now however, after writing this blog!! LOL :)

Grow where you are planted…

bird on wire2Gratitude is something very useful that helps motivate healthy habits here in prison helping with any and all relationships.  I am truly grateful to be where I am, to get a chance to align my mind, spirit and body and to radiate this energy that has healing powers for others.  I am grateful for family which shows me the strength it takes for unconditional love and respect.  These are attributes to continue down our path with for sure.

Quote of the Day:  “Without examples from others how do we learn to change?”

Mom sharing…

Mom's Avatar
A sweet letter from Brandon after our last visit:


” Dear Mother,

As usual words are hard to find to describe the greatness and joy I experience seeing you and hearing your voice and hugging you.  Every time I look into your eyes and hear your words of wisdom I feel the love of a mother for her son.  I know that your words are seasoned with wisdom because of who you are today.  To all the women that choose to do what is right for their selves and families, I thank you all!


Your son,